Juvenile Justice Information Exchange (https://jjie.org/category/ideas-and-opinions/the-beat-within/page/5/)
The Beat Within, a publication of writing and art from incarcerated youth, was founded by David Inocencio in San Francisco in 1996. Weekly writing and conversation workshops are held in California, six other states and Washington, D.C. Submissions and new partners are welcomed. Write to him at dinocencio@thebeatwithin.org.
As I grew older, the innocence I had as a child was lost. That was when my neighborhood became heavily infested with drug dealers and violent gang members. Living in the neighborhood became an everyday struggle just to survive.
To the amazing young men and women incarcerated across the United States of America — my question to you is this. Take a long, hard look at where you at. Ask yourself — do you like where you are right now?
Warning: What you are about to hear I wish on no one. That is why I am writing you this letter.
The violence I was exposed to at an early age shaped who I became. It desensitized my perspective on violence, numbed my cries and dumbed down violence to the point I stopped asking why.
When I knew there was a chance that I could reach out to you young men and women in the Modesto Juvenile Hall, I was ready for the opportunity. You see, back in 1998 and ’99 from age 16 to 17, I was in the max unit, and in 1999 I spent some time in the boys’ unit too.
I see a person who has a lot of needs that have not been met. I see a person who’s been hurt and tossed around. I see a person who is in a deep black hole and is asking for help. She/he is lost up in the hair, the makeup and looking good.
It has been 10 years since he and others raised me and were raising other black, Mexican and Chinese troubled kids. I know the work takes a toll on you, for I’ve been in the field for almost four years now, and it has taken a toll on me.
Well, we meet again, Mr. Webb, but this time it's under different
circumstances. I'm speaking to you from the grave and you're in the
penitentiary.
I know it’s been a while since I said I’d send my story to The Beat Within, but it’s just such a difficult situation. I don’t even know where to begin. I’m so lost for words, my thoughts of sanity sometimes even leave me.
It’s cold out here and I’ve been practicing my left hand lay-up for about an hour now. I go up for another lay-up and miss it. It isn’t any help that the rim is slightly crooked. I can hear my brother talking about this girl he used to date and how she was good in bed.